Spring Break, what?!

After a few weeks of paper writing, exam taking, book reading insanity, I was ready for a break. I hadn't done anything seriously city based in some time, and after a few days of intense R&R I was ready to take on New York, with my long time amigo (and let's face it, boss) Amina who was visiting for the Easter break. I'll try and get down everything we did, but dude, it was a crazy week and I'm hard pressed to remember it all!

On the Wednesday, Ami flew into JFK (late thankfully, as I was too...) and I brought her into the heart of the city, which was at that point experiencing weather that usually makes me homesick - downpours. After telling Amina that weather would undoubtedly be reasonable and she needn't bring a heavy coat, it snowed. Twice. Thanks guys, thanks a bunch.

Dazed and confused at the airport. This is a prime example of the famous Amina "picture face". She never, ever flashes any teeth, so I keep overcompensating. Yikes...

After a salad, a nap, and of course, some pizza with weirdo Italian mafia guys watching us, we headed to Mo Pitckin's House of Satisfaction to an event I'd wanted to see for months - Reverend Jen's Anti Slam. Set up in opposition to the poetry slam, in which poets are judge out of 10 by members of the audience, at Reverend Jen's you get a 10 whatever you do. Which means people do anything. And I mean anything... I think Amina was slightly traumatised by the nudity, but appreciated that we were referred to as "the hot broads in the back". A truely random New York experience, and in the East Village, truely the global home of insane performance.

Mmmmm... mafia pizza!

The East Village at night. Scary? I've seen worse...

Thursday was a bit more conventional - Amina wanted to shop, so we hit up Lexington and Fifth Avenue. Though the hour I spent in Abercrombie and Fitch nearly made me homicidal (no natural lighting, thumping music, and - I shit you not - all employes are models who will pose for photos with shoppers) I did get a pair of sale jeans fro GAP... so I can hardly complain about capitalistic urges.

Amina fell in love with the Levi's man, I pointed out there was a bit of a height difference...
How you know I'm great tour guide? This is FAO Scharwz, New York's (lame) answer to Hamleys - but this keyboard is from Big - you know, Tom Hanks? Dodgy 80 kids film? You know....


What? I'm mature...



We didn't even go in, I think the sign was already more than we could afford (morally. Or something.)

After some intense shopping, we rushed home and rushed back out to the Stanton Social - a posh restaurant, where else but the Lower East Side. Dinner was in honour of our third Hounslownian Mehreen, who just turned 22 (hah! so nice to be the baby again). We were exhausted, and by the time we got home Amina pretty much colapsed and a night out was postponed... I should have known she was conserving her strength for 5th Avenue!

I took full advantage of being the baby...

...while everyone else acted like grown ups. It will always be this way guys, even when you'e 43 and I'm 42. Just you wait...

Friday was another intense day of shopping, starting in the part of town I am not generally overfond off - Chinatown. You cannot go there when it's not heaving, and I can usually only take about 20 minutes...

...which is why I'm wearing sunglasses, despite that fact that it was snowing.
Amina loved Chinatown, and continued to love the shopping on


We trekked waaaay uptown, with brief stop off for the cube at Astor Place (see the video I took while Dad was visiting) a visit to The Strand (18 miles of books my arse) and then back up to 5th. Determined to get a bit of culture in, we dumped the bags at home, and ventured out to the free evening at MoMA.

Astor Place

Gandhi at Union Square


A random bit of the original Berlin Wall, a couple of blocks before MoMA. Why? I have no idea...

Some art... and if I have have to talk about the nature of art ever again, someone's gonna get knocked out with Duchamp's 'Fountain'

We wandered home via Times Square - three times, Amina, three times you made me take you to that tourist abomination. I would like to prove myself a New Yorker right now by professing my hatred for that bloody place. Maybe its ok on a postcard, but it's such an arse to trek through... ahem. Anyway, that evening we went out on the town - the East Village of course - for some groovy disco action. Look how cute we are... is there any doubt we had a good time? I think not, especially at venues with such names as 'No Malice Palace'. More tour guide points to me!

Sideways... by the way, Amina will attest to the fact my hair looks far darker in photos, damned flash!

Somehow, despite my best efforts, we were back on 5th Avenue the next day, for those tourist magnets, the Rockafella, the Disney Store, Grand Central and my favourite, Byrant Park. Another trip to Times Square - yes, it does look stupid during the day, doesn't it? - a glance at Macy's and the Empire State and then home (via the Flatiron) for a breather.

It's my arty photo of some reflections... sort of...

Bryant Park

We collapsed for a few hours, and then trekked out again, cabbing this time to Greenwhich to see Gutenberg! The Musical! for which I had discount tickets (cos I'm cool like that). It's a musical about two guys presenting their ridiculous idea for a musical, playing all 30 roles with the help of baseball caps with character's names printed on. It sounds silly, and indeed it was, but also very funny, and a nice spoof of musicals - I was suprised to find I'd now seen enough musicals to get the in jokes. Another late night's partying back on the East Side meant a late start for the next day's crazy wanderings... this time Central Park, the Met and that NSE favourite, Asssscat at the UCB. The Met was its usual, fanastic self - I'm determind to spend a day there before I come home - though Central Park looked a bit sad in the freezing weather. We wandered down to Columbus Circle and caught the train to Chealsea. Assscat was awesome - I love the NYC version above and beyond the LA one, great though it was.

Half arsedly climbing trees across the nation...

After queueing (er I mean, standing in line) for bloody hours, we collapsed at home in the warm. I could hardly believe it when Monday rolled around, and started to panic that we'd never finish the grand tour... luckily Easter Monday was beautiful. We headed downtown to Greenwich to see Washington Square Park and have lunch at the mental Jekyll and Hyde restaurant, where you are attended to by a mental butler and the spooky wall decorations occaisionally burst into song. I made Amina look at some more famous stuff - the gay sculptures at Christopher Park, a wander through Tribeca to Ground Zero (where we quietly exchange conspiracy theories, weird the things that place brings out it people) and on to Battery Park and the Statue of Liberty.

A rare grin! Mwahaha, I've cracked her!

We went back up town for the obligatory trip up the Empire State - I sat this one out, reading in Starbucks no less - but Amina waiting for three hours and got some pretty spanky pictures.

Town

Uptown

Downtown

That night was the final trip to Times Square to watch Blades of Glory, the new silly Will Farrell movie with Amy Poehler - who we had seen the previous night at Assscat. Once again, my coolness was astronomical. Knackered, we went home for the last time. The next day was again sunny, so we rushed around taking in Brooklyn Bridge, Hunter College's famous skywalks, Serendipity III (of movie fame) rounded off by a Max Brenner chocolate fondue, before waiting for the Supershittle. Which was, true to tradition, an hour late. A fantastic week, all in all, though by the end of it I was wondering if I'd need a spring break from my spring break... Lots of love to Amina who put up with my grumbling for a whole week and took a big ol' bag of my stuff home. Love, if you don't like any of the photos up, well, er, tough!