Quo Vadimus?
This morning I watched the sun rising over the East river (which isn't a river) having not slept all night. These are not pictures from this morning, which was rather unspectacular other than being a sunrise, which is in inself pretty special. Another day we managed not to blow our selves up completely. Rather these are pictures from another morning, many months ago, when I was busy waking people up so I had someone to share the sunrise with, and then forgot to share the photos (or at least I think I did, sorry if you've seen these already).
I know I write a lot of painfully self-conscious rubbish in this blog, and I'm sure I'll look back on some of it and wince, but it's a pretty good place for me to keep coming back and reinterpreting everything, coming to new realisations and a new understanding of it all. I stayed up all night talking to people and thinking, not to mention drinking, and came to the revolutionary conclusion that other people need not be miserable for me to be happy - and more importantly, that I need not be miserable because other people are happy. And maybe I am living at the end of a particularly violent emotional yoyo, but at least I'm not numb, and I am slowly getting some perspective.
2 years ago, I was living in Oxford with no idea how I was going to survive the next 18 months, and an increasing sense of desperation. I could never have foreseen where I would be, and I have to assume that the same is true now, and in there is no imagining where I will be in the future, but I might as well assume something just as good will happen. I can't possibly know where I'm going, but I'm happy to be here, raw and stinging and blinded by the sun as I am.
It might be awful, but this track has been on repeat incessantly this morning, and if it's stuck in my head, it should also be stuck in yours.
http://www.burninthespotlight.com/index.php/2006/listen-all-good-things-must-come-to-an-end-ft-chris-martin-unreleased-track/
Anyway, now that I've decided where I'm going isn't as important as where I am, I think I'm going to bed. Night.
I know I write a lot of painfully self-conscious rubbish in this blog, and I'm sure I'll look back on some of it and wince, but it's a pretty good place for me to keep coming back and reinterpreting everything, coming to new realisations and a new understanding of it all. I stayed up all night talking to people and thinking, not to mention drinking, and came to the revolutionary conclusion that other people need not be miserable for me to be happy - and more importantly, that I need not be miserable because other people are happy. And maybe I am living at the end of a particularly violent emotional yoyo, but at least I'm not numb, and I am slowly getting some perspective.
2 years ago, I was living in Oxford with no idea how I was going to survive the next 18 months, and an increasing sense of desperation. I could never have foreseen where I would be, and I have to assume that the same is true now, and in there is no imagining where I will be in the future, but I might as well assume something just as good will happen. I can't possibly know where I'm going, but I'm happy to be here, raw and stinging and blinded by the sun as I am.
It might be awful, but this track has been on repeat incessantly this morning, and if it's stuck in my head, it should also be stuck in yours.
http://www.burninthespotlight.com/index.php/2006/listen-all-good-things-must-come-to-an-end-ft-chris-martin-unreleased-track/
Anyway, now that I've decided where I'm going isn't as important as where I am, I think I'm going to bed. Night.
posted by Chantal @ 3:28 AM
2 Comments:
those pictures are amazing.
beautiful song. :-)
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