Late Night, Early Morning

I guess it's about time you had some actual news of what I've been up to, but right now anything particularly exciting doesn't spring to mind. I've been pretty ill the last few days which has been fairly restrictive, and New York's weather has very suddenly taken a rather more autumnal feel. Last week it absolutely poured down for 24 solid hours, which was followed by two days of glorious warm sunshine that we'd be lucky to get in London in mid summer. I've seen more blue skies here than I ever usually have the chance to at home, it really does wonders for your mood. Central Park is astoundingly picturesque, and last week we spent a magical afternoon there watching all the colourful leaves falling around us. Today I went to the park to be alone and to gather myself, and as ever it's unexpected beauty made me feel a little better. I walked across the far southern area, and sat on a rocky out crop looking over an ice rink, trees, and skyscrapers beyond, trying to take stock of everything that's happened so far here in the city. I still feel like I'm only just getting to know it - it's interesting as I intend to write one of my term papers on ideas of mapping the city and mapping identity, based on Paul Auster's New York Trilogy.

I've no idea if being in this city is really going to help to "find" myself, especially as I increasingly believe that personal identity is created - maybe it will instead help me make some crucial decisions in forming myself. I know that even though I'm desperately sad today and it seems as though some wonderful experiences are over, this city provides endless opportunities for reinvention and rediscovery. Every day I encounter new beauty and experiences, even if it's something as trivial as sitting in an unexplored cafe with my friends, reading something I'd never normally be exposed to and listening to what sounded like it might well be Thom Yorke's album The Eraser, which sounded pretty damned good to me. Maybe the most important thing New York has to teach me is that even if it's raining tonight, tomorrow might be the most beautiful day I've ever seen.